I’m oscillating.
One moment soaring, the next sinking. Drifting between lightness and heaviness, sulking and dancing. They say this in-between space is fertile ground for something new—but I’ll believe it when I see it.
This led me to reflect on a conversation with a friend about what it really means to flourish. So I thought we’d turn our attention to that for this month’s edition.
The Shape of Life
Take two actors: Sam and Mas. Sam grinds through indie films and low-budget productions, facing constant rejections. Over time, his diligence pays off—he lands leading roles, makes a crap tonne of money, and finishes his career with a string of Oscar-winning performances.
Mas, on the other hand, bursts onto the scene, winning an Oscar right off the bat, and enjoying blockbuster roles that bring him fame and fortune. But eventually, the spotlight fades—and so does he.
Would you prefer Sam’s steady climb or Mas’ fleeting fame? Yeah, right? When we think about flourishing, the sequence of events matters. Both actors experience highs and lows, but Sam’s steady climb feels more satisfying than Mas’ early success and later decline.
Thriving isn’t just about the total of what happens in your life, but how it all unfolds.
Philosopher Patrick Stokes explains that just as arranging the right furniture in the wrong way can ruin a room, the order of our successes and failures shapes how we experience life’s meaning.
Flourishing often stems from overcoming adversity and finding meaning in the highs and lows. But what does it really take?
The Journey vs. The Outcome
Flourishing isn’t about rational analysis, amassing possessions, or ticking checkboxes ☑ Flourishing is an age-old idea dating back to Aristotle’s eudaimonia. You can’t flourish without the capacity to endure and transcend all the misfortunes and sufferings that life deals you.
During the pandemic, organizational psychologist Adam Grant’s article on languishing made the rounds. This subtle feeling of ‘blah’ sits smugly between depression and flourishing.
This mehness can be a spark for creativity and change, pushing you toward the growth you didn’t see coming. You begin to build awareness, regulate your emotions, and create the conditions for flourishing. Wilderness guide Bill Plotkin frames this as a ‘descent’ into your psyche, aligning with your true nature. I love this.
Self-renewal is a winding journey of twists, setbacks, and unexpected growth. It’s about finding your inner compass and navigating life’s unpredictable terrain. Whether you like it or not, flourishing is a practice. It requires patience, resourcefulness, and devotion to what works for you at this stage of your life.
The practice often requires different doses: a bit of self-determination, a dash of continuous improvement, and a sprinkle of how you present yourself in everyday life. It’s an inside job, best navigated through your inner compass. Over time, you can discover a powerful sense of meaning, personal mastery, and mattering to others.
Flourishing isn’t about hedonism or pleasure. It’s about becoming your best self through small, meaningful steps. Think of it as life’s version of an experimental soufflé—sometimes you nail it, sometimes it flops, but you keep trying.
While struggle isn’t a prerequisite for growth, it is for flourishing. The magic lies in what you do with the struggle—how you emerge and come out the other end.
A Collective Effort
True flourishing isn’t a solo act. It’s a communal effort, built on mutual support and shared goals. It comes from playing a part in something larger than yourself, cultivating virtues, deepening your moral character, and fostering mutual dependence through your friendships and shared practices.
We thrive together when we pursue collective goals and lift each other up. Flourishing as a practice means you're embedded in community and connection—attuning to both individual and collective well-being. We must constantly ask, “What is the good I am aiming for?”
Flourishing isn’t a quest then—it’s an opening. It’s shaped by how we engage with the messiness of today, connect with others, and savor the fleeting moments in life.
What Makes You, You
Building identity capital takes work. Becoming yourself is like piecing together a complex puzzle bit by bit (some pieces don’t fit, and others get lost under the sofa cushions).
Psychologist, Meg Jay writes:
Identity capital is our collection of personal assets. It is the repertoire of individual resources that we assemble over time. These are the investments we make in ourselves, the things we do well enough, or long enough, that they become a part of who we are.
Think of identity capital as an investment. Your choices—jobs, relationships, hobbies, even mistakes—accumulate over time. These assets will open doors and help you flourish in ways you can’t yet predict. It’s the not-so-glamorous, daily practice of adding layers to who you are that shapes how you navigate life.
If you’re unsure of where to begin now, try wandering in nature, journaling, or doing something completely new and outlandish. Even when stuck in the muck, showing up for yourself and letting others support you sets you on the path toward growth.
The goal, it seems, is to create space for flourishing—to tend to yourself, rely on others, live your purpose, and contribute in ways only you can.
So while we practice, persevere, and push through the struggle, we also open the door for flourishing to surprise us.
Or you could sit back and wait for flourishing to find you—but we both know that’s not how it works
Links to make you think 🤔
A different view on happiness
The era of infinity content
Fear, Fame, and Faith
Creative Mornings 🪩
Speaking of experiments, my next CM FieldTrip will be:
The Beauty in Transition: A Movement Practice
If you've been feeling a sense of giddiness to the next
chapter in life then this is a gentle practice for you to tie the
breath, body awareness, and movement so that those 'scripts inside'
are pure.
‣ Learn to move your body so that your mind can follow intentionally
‣ Recalibrate and get motivated to lean into the liminal
‣ Leave feeling calm, rejuvenated, and clear on your next steps
Thursday, December 19th
From 12 pm-1 pm
“I’ve had a lot of troubles in my life, most of which never happened.”
—Mark Twain
Hi, it’s Jonas, the human who has been dreaming up this newsletter since 2005. I help companies, creatives, and changemakers navigate transitions with heart and purpose. I believe in embracing the unknown—whether in work, life, or the ocean where you’ll find me most at peace 🌊 Got a question? Hit reply!